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It was so strange to see my male face above the swell ofthose mountainous boobs. They went to work on my face, starting withplenty of foundation. Soon they were working on my eyes, adding colorto my cheeks, and having fun with my mouth. As they ended each step ofthe transformation I saw myself appearing more and more like somebrainless girl who was obsessed with appearance and drawing maleattention. This was not a look I had ever wanted to see myself with.At the same time, I couldn't deny the mild tingling between my legs.They fussed with my hair, put a tight cap over it, set the wig on top,and made sure it was secure. It was hard for me to recognize myself.I felt my male identity slipping away. Usually when I dressed it wassomehow empowering, as if I was asserting my other self. But this mademe feel powerless, as if that ability had been taken away from me. NowI had to be who they decided I was. I had to paint my fingernails --crimson, of course -- while they went to. In stunned silence, I stood slowly, walked to the door, and slinked back into the night. * * * * * OK, fine! I freely admit it and I feel I have nothing to hide: I hate cheese. I wasn’t always this way. I can remember babysitters calling me ‘their little mouse’ as they cut pieces for me to munch when I wanted a snack. (And I’m going to take the high road here and not even mention old expressions about ‘cutting the cheese’…) But I grew up and developed tastes for different foods and none of them (save pizza) had high cheese factors. Hey, it’s not like I’m the only person on the planet that hates cheese, is it? I mean, doesn’t everybody know that cheese is milk gone bad? I know there are kids too young to have seen the Fox TV special (‘When Good Milk Goes Bad’) but the rest of us have no excuse. Funny how it seems the world conspires to cloak the simple truth and not allow some of us to actually ‘choose to refuse!’ Let me explain. When I order food, I am VERY careful to inquire about.
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